by Conrad Updog
Our disdain for "thought leadership" PR is already on record, and there is perhaps no strain of the genre lazier than taking to a B2B publication to explain "Why [Boring Business Thing] Is Like [Cool Thing People Actually Care About That Is Not Really Related To The Business Thing In Any Way]" or "What [Fairly Specific Job Title, Plural] Can Learn From [Totally Unrelated Popular Thing]."
One popular topic for such Mad Libs #content is yoga, as evidenced by three different articles in the PR Daily archives, as well as the unfortunately named book, "The Mindful Marketer: How to Stay Present and Profitable in a Data-Driven World."
If you're wondering what PR/marketing have in common with yoga (besides being unfortunately gendered to the point that you sort of feel sexist for making fun of them), well, you are in luck because we are about to find out.
1. Both require you to do one thing before you do another thing.
From the excellent/very bad "4 lessons marketers can learn from yoga":
In this case, basically everyone ever would be able to learn from yoga that in order to do a thing they need to think about doing it and then do it. Fun exercise: replace "market" with "murder" and re-read the passage.
2. It is important to breathe during both activities.
Really makes you think ...
3. Both teach that you should do only ever do good things for people so that they can give you their money later.
This is probably the worst part of any of the essays, from "4 lessons marketers can learn from yoga," and I think it sums up a lot of things that are terrible about PR and marketing:
While the author is ostensibly saying that people should do nice things for each other, the justification is that the recipients of acts of kindness will one day become "brand advocates for life."
In much the same way that advertisers call themselves "creatives" and tech folks brag about "changing the world," the reality here is that the end goal is always, always to make the most money possible no matter how much idiotic bullshit you have to put on the internet.