by Conrad Updog
If there is one thing we at Don't Trend On Me would like to accomplish with our little blog, it is the complete eradication of form pitching from the public relations industry.
At the very least, we hope that by showing everyone what a fucking goon you look like mass blasting innocent reporters with your inane copy, you will think twice about sending your next heinous piece of spam.
Everyone involved knows it's one of the most disrespectful things you can do to yourself and the person who has to delete the e-mail you sent, so why would you keep doing it? Do you hate yourself?
Anyway, today we were forwarded a carbon copy pitch from PKPR advertising a four-month-old sponsored content campaign from Ad Age and the ad tech company The Mobile Majority.
Who is the recipient's audience? Why will they love a video series explaining some of the world's most extraordinarily boring topics? These questions are left unanswered because answering them would have required the agency in question to give a shit.
What follows is a press release with links to an idiotic series of Ad Age videos, in which reporter Alex Kantrowitz explains ad-tech jargon to child actors in a bad impression of those AT&T commercials with Beck Bennett.
Even for a form pitch, I'm not sure how someone decided to hit send on this one. For starters, the most recent of the videos linked to was published in Novemeber, so even if a human being thought they were funny, he or she wouldn't have a newspeg to tie them to.
But even if the videos were hot off the video presses, "the masses" would not need ad tech jargon explained to them because no one who does not work in marketing needs to know what an ad exchange is. It is the least interesting, least important piece of knowledge you could give these people.
The people who should actually know what an ad exchange is need it explained to them like they are adults whose livelihoods depends on their ability to do business via an ad exchange.
Here is one of the videos for anyone who has a minute of their life they are dying to wish they could get back:
Congratulations to our friends at PKPR on what are likely the only impressions they will get from this round of mass-produced e-mails. Fuck your automated e-mails forever.